I met Barbara Herman (BH) on Facebook just over a year ago – I kept seeing her posting about my little island Sanday, although she herself lived in South Africa, so I asked some mutual friends who she was, and they told me she was hoping to emigrate here once she had sold her house and business. So I friended her, and we found that we had so much in common that we instantly clicked and we became the very best of friends, and in fact chatted all day long each and every day. I thought I had at last found my female soulmate, and someone who I could share my life with here. I was just so happy and excited. You may or may not know that I had been friends with a Kath White here ever since I came to Sanday – a very aggressive and negative person who I thought I could change lol (Drac calls her toxic, a very apt description) – but one way or another she almost gave me a nervous breakdown and because I am prone to depression, a negative person is no good in my life, so it all came to a head on my Birthday last year and I asked her never to contact me ever again. The final straw to this friendship was when she tried to get my friend and neighbour Jo dismissed from her job at the Community Shop, telling the shop owners I wanted Jo sacked, something I told the shop owners I knew nothing about! Anyway since July, I have become a recluse once again, and hence my excitement at having a new friend in my life in the near future. I give you this background knowledge, so you can see how vulnerable I was at the time.
You may remember that I had a very hard and stressful time in Kenya trying to sell my house, mainly because there is a minority market there of people who have the finances, and BH found exactly the same situation in SA. She did eventually find a buyer in August for both the house and the business, and matters were put in train for her, her husband, furniture and dogs to be transported to Sanday. I have to say that I saw through this buyer from the word go, but everyone told me I was wrong. He kept postponing the completion date from day to day and month to month, and I knew for sure that this guy did NOT have the funds, although BH and her agents assured me he did.
In the meantime, BH asked me if I would try and find a property for her to buy on Sanday, and I spent much of the late Summer going around all the houses for sale here – 65 in all, although I didn’t have to go to them all lol. I eventually found one which was perfect for her in all respects – by chance I had bought a lawnmover from someone here on Facebook and when she came to deliver it, she happened to mention her house was going to be put up for sale, and so I asked her to give me first refusal before she put it on the market, which she did in late August. I sent all the house photos to BH and her and her husband fell in love with it. At that time she had no money whatsoever and so could not even make an offer on the house which was for sale at £80,000 BUT she did say she would have some of the money very soon, i.e. £25,000 but she had to lodge £55,000 for 6 months with the UK Government in order for her non-British husband to enter and live in the UK. As the owner of East Thrave Cottage (ETC) did not want to wait the 6 months for the £55,000 I (very very stupidly) offered to loan BH the £55,000 during this 6 month period. Obviously she was ecstatic and took me up on my offer. As she had no money she asked me would I make an offer on her behalf for the £80,000 which I did immediately with no hesitation as, although I was dubious about her buyer, I was assured by everyone concerned that my doubts were totally unfounded and that he had signed a binding contract for both the house and the business, and so he could NOT back out at this stage, the completion date being in 2 months time.
On this assurance, I therefore told my lawyer to make an offer on my behalf – and under Scottish Law, once you have made an offer in writing, it cannot be retracted for any reason whatsoever. I lodged my £55,000 with my lawyer and we sat and waited for the promised £25,000 from BH. And to this day I am still waiting lol. It came to my Completion Date and I had to find from somewhere an extra £25,000. I managed to find £20,000 but was still £5,000 short and so I rang the owner of ETC, Linda, in desperation whilst crying hysterically down the phone. By this point I was for sure on the very edge of a total nervous breakdown, having lived this nightmare day in and day out for 3 whole months, during which time I never slept. The local Doctor wanted to ”put me somewhere” for my own sanity and I would have gone gladly, but for the fact this was just before Christmas and we could not find two foster homes for my babies, so I just sat at home and tried to battle it out on my own. Anyway, this very kind Linda took pity on me and reduced the price by the missing £5,000, and so the purchase went ahead.
And so, the upshot of this whole unhappy saga is that I had to use my life savings to buy a second property I don’t want or need – maintaining one property in this harsh climate as a woman on her own is bad enough here – and to have to maintain a second property here with no competent builders or tradesmen is just a nightmare. I have owned ECT for 2 months and I only bit the bullet last week and entered the property for the first time lol.
Now, you can understand why I kept putting off telling you this very sad saga. Just before Christmas I ended up totally penniless, and spent my last bit of money insuring ETC. Luckily I had a small Bond I had forgotten about and although I am not nearly as fortunate as I was, at least I have a little bit of money now. And so my life has changed completely - from someone who was fortunate to buy whatever she wanted to someone who now has to watch every single penny, and I dont like living like this lol.
And during all this, BH has unfriended and blocked me on Facebook and despite me sending her a couple of emails outlining the many many thousands of Pounds she owes me, quite apart from the house purchase, she refuses to communicate with me, and in fact she blames me for everything that has gone wrong in her life, which has somewhat screwed up my mind, as you can imagine. All I wanted to do was help out a friend, and it has totaly backfired on me. Looking back on my life, I realise that many of my problems have actually been brought on by trying to be kind and helpful to people, and I have now vowed to never ever help anyone ever again because it causes too much heartache.
Phew, I am now exhausted after writing all this
